Love-less

There is a wedding everyday, these days. It is all about how much money you spent, which wedding was longer, who wore what, who was invited, where they went for their honeymoon- comparisons of the materialistic things. People are getting married fast and all together just in case it goes out of fashion or potential companions run out. Yes, we get these invites all the time- and we think, "How am I going to get out of this one?"

There is a divorce everyday, these days. Cover ups, forced smiles, playing pretend. Just to hide a split up. Our school principals and teachers thought we came up with brilliant reasons for coming late to school. They never knew of the lies we were capable of! Then again, society didn't tear you apart for coming to school fifteen minutes late, but a potential divorce? a broken marriage? Gossip and mean-ness reaches new levels. That isn't my point- not for this post, anyway.

Weddings-divorces-weddings-divorces..... What I want to ask is, where is the love? Or is this a trend? Has it become cool to divorce by the second year of being married? I don't think so. I think, it's okay not to know love - not to love love anymore.

Where are all these thoughts coming from, you wonder? From watching a movie where love transcends everything, from the relationship, from the self- yet it is there right till the end. From a MOVIE! That is the only place love really exists anymore. It is the only place it remains as it was years ago. In real life, people say they are in love, do things you do in love, but tomorrow *poof* it's gone.  That is NOT love. 

I can't believe I am rambling on about "love"- my most hated topic of yesteryear, but also most debated. Cha: you called me a romantic and I fought it, but I guess I am. 

I have been defeated: by love. And I am just trying to stand up for it.

Into the wild

"Are you single?"

"Almost." came my reply. 

"When are you getting married?"

My favourite question!! My first question of the day, that too. Not a nosey aunty, or a concerned parent or an annoying friend ,or a cheap pick up line but a potential employer.

"No plans.", was my reply. When are you having children, getting a divorce, dying -stupid cow!

That I have commitment issues (work wise) is pretty evident from my resume. This was the interviewers main reason for concern. "We need a year's commitment." "Of course, no problem." Oh,man! A year? Commit?Same job? NOOOOOOOO!

"The management will discuss it and get back to you in the next few days."

Hold on! How much money? What are the hours? Do you like me? Are you rejecting me? (Leiden I hate you! You make me fear rejection as much as I fear mattar and gheeya.)

"Thanks for coming and good luck with your life." Now, I may not be an expert in human psychology but I have done my fair share of reading and this to me seems like a typical Freudian slip. Good luck with life? Are you kidding me? That's as good as saying- uhmmm- yeah , not really but thanks for coming!

While I sat there, watching a session- I couldn't help but think-is this what I want? Is my heart and soul in this? And I know, that it isn't completely in it but there is something. That little feeling, desire to be part of the sped world. But, there is a part of me that just wants nothing to do with it. It brings me back to the ever prevelant , doomed question of my life- what do I want to do?