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In the depths of my being, a strange certainty, deeper than reason, entirely animal in quality, filled me with terror. The same certainty which some beasts-sheep and rats feel before an earthquake. Awakening in me was the soul of the first men on Earth, such as it was before it became totally detached from the universe, when it still felt the truth directly, without the distorting influence of reason- The 'Boss', Zorba the Greek

Monday, February 2, 2009

Into the wild

"Almost." came my reply. 

"When are you getting married?"
My favourite question!! My first question of the day, that too. Not a nosey aunty, or a concerned parent or an annoying friend ,or a cheap pick up line but a potential employer.
"No plans.", was my reply. When are you having children, getting a divorce, dying -stupid cow!

That I have commitment issues (work wise) is pretty evident from my resume. This was the interviewers main reason for concern. "We need a year's commitment." "Of course, no problem." Oh,man! A year? Commit?Same job? NOOOOOOOO!

"The management will discuss it and get back to you in the next few days."
Hold on! How much money? What are the hours? Do you like me? Are you rejecting me? (Leiden I hate you! You make me fear rejection as much as I fear mattar and gheeya.)

"Thanks for coming and good luck with your life." Now, I may not be an expert in human psychology but I have done my fair share of reading and this to me seems like a typical Freudian slip. Good luck with life? Are you kidding me? That's as good as saying- uhmmm- yeah , not really but thanks for coming!

While I sat there, watching a session- I couldn't help but think-is this what I want? Is my heart and soul in this? And I know, that it isn't completely in it but there is something. That little feeling, desire to be part of the sped world. But, there is a part of me that just wants nothing to do with it. It brings me back to the ever prevelant , doomed question of my life- what do I want to do? 

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