The Simple Life

[As told to me by my Dad]

Back then-

Everyone wore shirts that said 'Make love,not war.' [as cliched as it may sound]

You didn't say 'HI', you said 'PEACE'. '

You rode your bikes slow, so the girls could che

ck you out.

There were only about eight bikes and five scooters in Chandigarh.

They called themselves the 'Dooks' and the 'Yanks' .

A movie cost one rupee fifty, the chinese cost two rupees and a cola was fifty paise, so your date cost you about Rs.5.

The movies changed every day, with one English movie showing on Wednesday.

You could hear your friends bike from a mil

e away (literally).

Bell bottoms were cool.

Every one had a nickname- Fly, Flatty, Squeaky, Gooey.

You got your jeans from Jean Junction.

Walking was the way you got everywhere- to college and back, to sector seventeen and home.

Yelling across the park for cold coffee was normal.

So was the cow that lived in your friend-across-the-parks-house.

Morni was exciting.

Sitting on the round-abouts drinking rum for two rupees was the way to spend your evenings.

It was all so simple.

This is how it could've been.

{ An addition to this post by a good friend of my parents who grew up with them.Collective memories are important.}

I remember for Rs 10, you could fill your scooter. I usually filled up about Rs 5 worth at one go, or even Rs 3. But one time, when we were all in college, all I had was Rs 1, so that's how much gas I got filled in. It was really funny.

We lived in Sector 27-A, diagonally across from Sector 7, where some family friends lived. We went to their home almost every evening, and went for a walk. Walking was what one did for fun. On occasion, we walked from college (GCW) to your mum's home in Sector 8-A; Usha Hooda lived around the corner, and Candy didn't live too far either--we lived on cold coffee in the summertime. It was also a good way to lose weight if that's all you consumed.

And Morni was a lot of fun. Ask your dad and mum to show you photos of one of our trips there on scooters.

Love, Vinty

Ageing

Cha has had a healthy baby boy- last night at 3:40 am.,a couple hours after his own birthday. He is a father. HE IS A FATHER!!!

Number three () is engaged.

She is divorced.

Racoon thinks he is twenty three years old when he is actually twenty six going on twenty seven! Boy, was he shocked to be three years older in less than a minute!

Do we all think we are younger than what we are? Or are we older than we are?

Maybe, we are just old. Still living a child's life. That is the real joke.

Its been nearly a month since I have been home and I am ready to go back to Bombay and the uncertainity of it all. I love home but not being home is something I have begun to love as well.

Where and when will we find our middle path?

Glimpses of me

is what worries me.

Is that who I am now?

Circled eyes? and a constant frown?

Is the only way from here , down?

It's been a good six months.

Defined.

Random:Having no specific pattern, purpose, or objective.

Chance:A force assumed to cause events that cannot be foreseen or controlled.

Serendipity:The faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident.

Illusion:An erroneous perception of reality.

Random chances give the illusion of serendipity.

Yuletide Spirit!

Christmas was everywhere! Where was my tree?

Male Bashing III

My cousin is worried that her teenage daughter and Chandigarh are a bad combination. Not because she doesn't trust her daughter- she says the town  is unforgiving. One mistake (considering she makes one) and the town won't let her live in peace. This is what concerns her. Really? Just that? It's pretty lame. She is growing up like we all grew up. If you screw up-deal with it. No small town ever forgets.

I am concerned too, dont get me wrong. Not for the same reasons though. I worry about the sleaze (read men) this town has accumulated. The ones that follow girls home, gape at them, don't let them live in peace types. You know the breed. She will grow up like me- always wondering if someone is following me, thinking of ways to deal with a situation if one arises and just wanting to leave this town for no other reason but this. Because the sleaze is too much to handle.

This is how this topic arose: I went to drop my niece to tuition. While driving away, my sleaze radar picked up on a follower. I was in for a shock because today's accused didn't "look" the part. He was riding an enfield (damn, i wish I had taken his number), wore a black vega helmet, was wearing fatigues and a floppy jacket. Something like what my brother wears while riding. Automatically, I put him into the category of "riders" who are altogether chilled out and never posed a problem. This is where the lovely old cliche,'Don't judge a book by a cover' comes in. He was following me and he wasn't chilled out at all.He was a sleaze. Obviously wasnt a pro yet cos he kept overshooting me and was forced to take a turn where I was going the opposite way and inevitably I lost him.Another skill I have learnt. Evading and losing the losers. 

If there hadn't been so much traffic and I was a little more enthusiastic, I was going to try out a new manouver. Follow him. I was pretty excited about it but I wasn't so energetic. Next time maybe.

So this is what my little niece is going to face. No matter what they look like, no matter how they speak, what they drive, ride, walk- as long as they are male -they are all the same. Sleaze.

WHAT TO DO!

P.S. Sometimes I think it is the red big car that attracts these idiots, or my dark glasses or my height or my happy vibes (lol)- but I don't leave home without any of those things ever. Why should I ? Right?? 

Male-Bashing II / FAQ's

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT SEXUAL HARASSMENT/ EVE-TEASING-
.

FAQ I) What is eve-teasing/ sexual harassment?
Its’s-
Walking out of your house wondering if today I’ll be able to drive around, go out without being harassed .
It’s driving around and getting harassed (ofcourse it would happen)- by some shady boys in an even shadier car.
It’s walking in the market, minding your own business and boys stopping to stare at you- up and down, left to right and snicker and nudge his friends to check you out.
It’s sitting and drinking coffee and boys taking pictures of you and your friends with their cell phones.
It’s standing in line to buy a movie ticket and random men brushing against you and then standing on the side and STARING.
It’s your 10 year old niece going for a cycle ride and random men going up to her and telling her they will drop her home.
It’s finding a website with pictures of girl’s from your city (some who you know) which some pervert has made.
It’s walking your dog in your vicinity where you have lived your ENTIRE life and getting groped (like disgustingly groped) by two ch*%#as on a scooter.
It’s being followed by two big ugly men on the Delhi-Chandigarh highway despite having two men in the car.
It’s you and your Mum walking and men stopping and shouting lewd comments at the both of you.
It’s walking in a park and having a shadow follow you through your entire walk. Walking should be stress free!
It’s going out with your friends and one trying to make a move on you when he knows he shouldn’t.
It’s finding a masturbating man behind your house, in the gully.
It’s having a cycling + masturbating man past you and your friends in broad daylight once, then twice, then thrice…
It’s having men drive past your house at all odd times, cos they have seen you somewhere- followed you home and decide to STALK you.
It’s drunk uncles (over the age of 50) who follow you around in a bar saying “Hello” and smiling what he thinks is his best smile but is only full of his rotting teeth and halitosis!
It’s whistling school boys.
It’s frustrated Uncles.
It’s pinching men.
It’s rear-view mirror adjusting Autowallas.
It’s someone from the village, it’s someone from a good family, it’s a rehri-walla, a college student. It’s anyone. Anyone who is male, that is.
It could be you.



FAQ II) So, what do we do about people who sexually harass/ eve-tease us?

Ø For a STARER- We ignore them? No! We look them eye to eye and challenge them. We make sure they never ever have the chance or the thought to do what they’ve done again.

STAGES OF OUR CHALLENGE-
1. We stare at them, a nice long icy stare.

Now chances are the perpetrator will do one of two things- he looks away and moves on, OR he continues to stare without faltering for a second. The second is more common these days.I’m not sure why, but these days men seem to have a lot of bravado that is uncalled for- watching too many superhero movies I guess. Well, we must dispel this ridiculous thought from their minds.

Ok, so if he looks away and moves away, we don’t chase him because if we chased EVERY man that stared- we’d have no time to live our lives.

2. At the guy, who doesn’t look away. Ask him what he’s looking at (usual stuff- “ ghar mein ma/bhen nahin hai?”) .We ask calmly,let’s not get agitated just yet.
3. He snickers and continues to stare. Sometimes, he starts reaching into his pants. He can’t help it! I mean, come on, women are such a rare sight! Pshhhh
4. You can either take out a camera (your phone or otherwise ) and take a picture of him, which will either shock him or will anger him.
5. Or, if you’re in quite a busy place, like a market or railway station- start yelling and making a commotion and pointing at Mr.Stare-a-lot.
6. Better still call the cops/ women help line or the best would be if there is a cop around- just say EVE – TEASER and leave him to the cops.

Ø For a FOLLOWER (car/bike/otherwise)- call the cops. Don’t hesitate. Call them. Don’t forget to have their vehicle number! Always helps, if the followers see you noting their number down and making an obvious phone call to the cops.
Ø For a PINCHER/ GRABBER- Turn around and PUNCH/ SLAP/KICK/SCRATCH whatever you can do. Yup. That is the only solution. Just don’t beat up the wrong person.
Ø For the MASTURBATOR-Take garden shearers and cut the damn thing off. I got no other solution for this variety nor any sympathy. Sorry, if it’s a bit violent but when it comes to this stuff, controlling my rage is hard.




FAQ III) Do these methods/solutions always work?

No, they don’t. Sometimes, the cops don’t come in time, they sit and stare at you and tell them to call another number cos this isn’t there area.
Sometimes, the perps can be scary and you can be alone in a strange,unfamiliar area.
Sometimes, they run.
Sometimes, they threaten.
Sometimes, they go beyond reality and do things which are scary to mention- rape, rape, rape.

FAQ IV) So, then why do we try to do something?

Because if we don’t, things will never get better- they will only get worse.
And we don’t deserve to be treated like objects.

NOTE- This is a note to all the men out there who think it’s their bloody birthright to lech at women and think they can get away with it. You better quit it asap cos we are going to retaliate harder than ever before.
Just like every drop in the ocean counts, every guy you yell at, report and even slap/hit/kick (cos most of them deserve it) - makes a difference. No longer should we sit back and allow boys/men/uncles to treat us like we’re made for them to stare,grope at.

Male-Bashing I

Yesterday, I came the closest to a stun gun than I'd ever been. WOW! I wanted to steal it- thoughts of how much I would use it and what fun I would have with it came rushing to me. No, no, not to zap anyone I knew but for those little pricks which have only multiplied by the hundreds in the last couple of years.

Walking in C'garh was never a problem, I never gave a thought to it. It could be late in the afternoon, evening, night time , whenever and I would just walk out and carry on doing what I was doing. Lately, though, with the number of 'shady' cars steadily increasing, I got to admit, I think and ponder over going out. Let me define 'shady' cars- they can have one or all of the following things for it to fall in the category aforementioned- tints, shiny alloys, blue flashing lights under the car(Fast & Furious wannabes), blaring music (terrible sound systems listening to VENGABOYS-hello! that is so 1994), HR numbers, PB numbers, being on the geri, bling bling earrings flashing at you from a mile away, DECENT GUYS/ HARDY BOYS/DON'T HUNT WHat YOU CANT KILL or the likes written on their windscreens, slowing down at the sight of any woman- old,young,bald, fat,thin, ugly, veiled,whatever....as long as it's a woman. This list could go on forever and ever,but I'm going to stop. No need to paint a very obvious picture.

Right, that said , what can be done about it? To bring C'garh back to its one time happy, safe city reputation? How do we keep the City beautiful,beautiful? Take a picture of the culprits- note down their car numbers, report them, wait for them to be approached by the cops and then them denying it was them (blaming it on their driver's is one excuse I have come across) , paying the cops , naming names , basically finding any way to get out of it. Then, going to the accuser's house and smashing their car's windscreen or something stupid like that. What purpose does that serve? At the end of the day, our ten year old nieces/sisters etc can't cycle around the block without encountering some sleaze or the other.

So then, what do we do? I know! Take a stun gun- stun 'em and beat them to a pulp. Or better still- get a gun and SHOOT! Ermm..don't quote me.